Guest Blog Post at Skinner Self-Publishing Services (Self-Care Tips You Can Sink Your Teeth Into)

Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links, by which I may be financially compensated. See Disclosures for more info. 


Happy Halloween!! It's my favorite holiday again, and although this year's festivities will be different than other years, I still managed to get up to something fun to celebrate. 

As you may know, I'm an editor and writer, and one of my fellow colleagues, Jody Skinner at Skinner Self-Publishing Services, reached out to me and several others in our field and asked if we'd like to participate in a self-care tips blog post for her website. 

And with it being Halloween ... we all wrote as if we were vampires! I promise these are tips you can really sink your teeth into! (Thanks to a fellow colleague for that quip, LOL) 🧛🤣

So in lieu of a post here this month, I encourage you to go check out the guest post at Jody's site. It's valuable information, and while it's titled as being for writers, ANYONE can benefit from the suggestions there!  

Take care, and have a safe Halloween! Toodle-oo!

 ~positively b.e.e. is on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Pinterest. Follow me there!~

Decompressing Through Coloring

(This post may contain affiliate links, by which I may be financially compensated. See Disclaimers & Policies on my About page.)

I have a confession to make:

I love to color!

Photo by Mint Owl on Unsplash

It's a good thing that coloring as an adult is now acceptable, isn't it? There have been a plethora of "coloring for adults" products hitting the retail arena in the last couple of years, and, frankly, it's a relief. Plus, there is so much good stuff out there! =)

When I was in high school and college, the only coloring books you could really find were for kids. There were the typical, very young-age type of coloring books, with Disney and Winnie the Pooh and other cartoon characters, but those didn't interest me.

What did interest me at the time were the types of coloring books you'd find in museum gift shops. Things like pictures of Samurai found at an Asian art museum, or William Morris textile patterns found at a design museum. I would pick these up any time I visited one, and while they were meant for kids, you know I broke out either the colored pencils, markers, or sometimes even a small painting set and brushes to fill in between the dark lines.

It's a shame that, at the time, I felt I had to hide that part of myself. Close friends and family would witness it, but that's it. I feel like I robbed myself of a little bit of the joy of being like a kid again by hiding it.

There is something truly free about children! Limitless creativity, a healthy sense of play, and a time of constant learning all define parts of childhood, to me. I think as adults, we could learn a thing or two from kids. From finding that joy, again, to feeling that limitless creativity flow through us. And for not being ashamed to play and share in that.

Nowadays, I frequently use coloring as a means of decompression. The last place I worked even featured it in teambuilding exercises. I like it because I can kind of zone out and get caught up in staying between the lines, choosing colors, and blending. By the time I come out of my reverie, I feel more relaxed, like my cares have gone away for awhile.

So, no more hiding it: from time to time I may share some pics of my coloring here, along with recommendations for good coloring books or coloring implements I've tried. I'll list some at the end of this post, to start.

How do you like to decompress? And do you share it with the world, or keep it private? Do you have a good coloring book to recommend? Drop me a line and let me know! 🐝

 ~ positively b.e.e. is on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Pinterest. Follow me there! ~

Here is a coloring book I'm working in right now.

And here is a set of pencils I'm using.

I like to organize them in something like this.

Why "no" isn't a bad word.

This post may contain affiliate links, by which I may be financially compensated. See Disclosures & Policies on my About page.

Have you ever said "no" and felt bad about it?

Have you ever said "yes" when you wanted to say "no" because you were afraid of disappointing someone?

Photo by Gemma Evans on Unsplash
For today's topic, I have some questions for you to consider:

If so, has that "yes" ever made you unhappy, or caused you to miss out on something you really wanted or needed to do for yourself because you were trying to please someone else?

Have you ever found yourself in the position of being unable to say "yes" OR "no"? Were you a solid "maybe" on that social invitation you got, never actually RSVPing to the host with a definitive answer?

I think a lot of people are hesitant to say "no" to things. I know I've been there, and I guess it's pretty normal. We're afraid of disappointing people, or not meeting someone's expectations. Or sometimes, we really want to do something and figure we can jam it into our already hectic schedules.

But does it have to be that way?

I used to think that I was pretty good at establishing healthy boundaries, and in certain areas, I am. But it's funny how a simple, 2-letter word can cause such a stir in my life, so I'm exploring why that is. I would never have put myself into the "people pleaser" category, but maybe that's what I am.

Also, I have a tendency to start too many projects or get involved in too many things, and then scramble, trying to keep it all together. I'm genuinely disappointed when I can't do it all! Who do I think I am, Superwoman?

That's pretty unrealistic, because guess what always happens when I do that?

Yep, you guessed it:

Burnout. Complete and utter exhaustion. Insomnia. Worry. Anxiety. An inability to make decisions easily. A desire to huddle myself away from the world.

The list goes on.

There's a local church I sometimes attend, and one day the pastor said something in a sermon that REALLY hit me. He was talking about integrity, and he said, "Let your 'yes' be YES and your 'no' be NO."

I don't know if this was his intent, but here's my take-away:

Make a decision. Stick to it. Have the integrity and respect for yourself and others to tell people "yes" or "no," and be solid in your answer. Don't waffle. Don't exist in the land of "maybe." Free up your mind, heart, and spirit for living your best life by making a clear choice in all you do. COMMIT.

So I've been working on that! While I still have to unlearn some of those "yes" habits, I've been saying "no" a bit more lately. And whereas in the past, I'd feel at least a little bad about saying "no," I'm finding that it's actually pretty good for me!

Want to know how?

I'm sleeping better. I don't have a million moving parts going through my mind, keeping me awake at night.

My decision-making has been much clearer, probably because I don't have a million moving parts going through my mind.

I've been able to focus more on my health and well-being. I still have a way to go, but I'm finding a little more time for exercise and meditation these days, and picking up the yarn or a book for fun more often.

I'm even letting some of my expectations of myself go. (Yes, my people-pleasing apparently applied to myself, too.) Things like: I'm the errand-runner of the household, and I used to beat myself up if I forgot an item or didn't get to the store when I wanted to. So what if I forgot to buy paper towels? I could make an Amazon order and save myself the trip, thereby freeing myself up for something that actually matters.

I've been able to focus on a few things at a time in my life instead of spreading myself too thin. For instance, I've been able to write more consistently here on positively b.e.e. and apply my energy to learning some new skills.

I'm still pretty busy, but I feel like I'm making better choices for what I say "yes" to. (Granted, I still have a lot to learn.)

I'm learning more about quality of life instead of quantity of the things in my life.

So while I'd like to say "yes" to a lot of things, I'm feeling a bit more comfortable with "no." It's not the difficult word I'd sometimes thought it to be.

Try it out and let me know how it goes!

Photo by Andy Tootell on Unsplash

Comment below or on social media and let me know how the word "no" affects you! 🐝

~ positively b.e.e. is on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Pinterest. Follow me there! ~

Self-Care During the Holidays

Remember to take care of yourself during the holiday season, or else you'll end up with "Frankenstein Coffee". Or worse, NO coffee!

You probably think I'm nuts, but read ahead. Imagine the following:

There I was, in PJs and slippers, hair askew, slowly shuffling into the kitchen while resembling the walking dead. One eye was half-open, the other one was closed, and I barely avoided knocking into things.

I managed to fill and start the kettle.

I managed to pull out the pour-over pot and the filter.

The water started boiling! Yay! Hope is nigh: soon, I will be caffeinated! I can do this! I am ready to tackle this Sunday!

*pulls out ground coffee*

Uh-oh.

I've only got a tiny bit of regular coffee left...

*roots around in cabinet*

...and also some weird vanilla stuff from Target that I didn't really like the first time I tried it.

Ok! I've got this! I'll just combine them. I'll finish up the regular stuff, and a scoop or 2 of vanilla on top will eke out a large mug. Should be drinkable, right? Whatever, caffeine is caffeine.

*coffee brews*

*pours coffee in mug*

Almost there!

*opens fridge*

Uh-oh.

I've only got a trickle of milk left, no half-n-half, and a smattering of what might be expired pumpkin spice Mini Moo's® rattling around in the drawer of the fridge. I honestly have no idea of their freshness status, because the box was chucked out long ago during an effort to neaten up the fridge.

I very sleepily attempt to give myself a pep talk: "Ok, Beth, this MAY be an emergency, but you CAN deal. How bad can half-vanilla coffee with potentially expired pumpkin spice creamer be? At least you have enough for a mug. Suck it up, suck it down, and get on with things."

Today, this is what "adulting" looks like in positively b.e.e. land.

Guys: If you know me AT ALL, you know that while I am an early riser, I am not exactly a "morning person." I literally stumble around with one eye half-open so I don't crash into anything, but that's it. Bare-minimum engagement with the world around me until I wake up is my modus operandi. I am nonverbal, nonvisual, and nonfunctioning. I do not even contemplate using actual words until I've been up for awhile and have started sipping the blessed, blessed bean.

If you're a guest in my house and you witness this, you get used to it. You know not to ask me anything complicated or try to have a conversation while I'm still waking up. If you need to know where something is, I can point at the thing you need, but don't expect much else. I may answer you with grunts and shrugs until my language centers come fully online.

Now, I'm usually pretty good at taking care of myself. I know what I need to do to get through any day, let alone the last weekend before Christmas. Taking care of myself usually starts with a cup of coffee. And yet (!!!), I had somehow, in the midst of all the holiday craziness, broken my CARDINAL RULE:

Always have coffee supplies in the house. Coffee. Half-n-half or milk. Sugar. These are the basics, right? It could be the apocalypse outside, but I will be fully caffeinated before handling all the zombies, is all I'm saying.

What happened that I have let such a travesty befall my house?

I had been so busy shopping for Christmas presents, prepping for Christmas visits, writing Christmas cards, doing this, doing that, doing the other thing--that I had completely forgotten to take care of my own needs.

Thankfully, my needs this season basically amount to shopping for more coffee supplies. And I am immensely grateful that that's all I need!

Hopefully, this was a humorous reminder to practice self-care over the holidays. Don't lose sight of what YOU need this season, ok?

Take a little time for yourself, sip some coffee (or wine), and take a breather. Things don't need to be perfect. Whether you celebrate Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanzaa, Yule, or nothing at all, this time of year has a way of getting us in a tizzy. The important things are family, shared traditions, and spending time with each other, NOT all the other stuff that gets us wound up, like shopping, parties, cooking, baking, etc. Those things are certainly fun, but sometimes they have a way of making us a little nuts, too.

Also, if you love the holidays, they go by so fast, don't they? Blink and you miss it! Try to slow down and take it all in.

For instance, sometimes after work, instead of driving straight home, I'll go the long way around and drive through extended portions of the neighborhood to look at everyone's lights while singing along to Christmas carols playing on my car stereo. It's a small thing, but it's a few minutes of "me time" that I cherish, and ensures I'm living in the moment without the holiday to-do list pressing in on me.

Comment below and let me know how you like to celebrate the season, what you're doing to get through it, or even what type of coffee you like!  Don't forget to share with your friends!

And whatever you celebrate, I hope you have a wonderful rest of the year!

Oh, and while I may have just sucked it up and sucked it down, my Frankenstein coffee actually wasn't too bad, after all! Who knew?

positively b.e.e. is on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest! Follow me there!