Crafting a Path to Peace: 5 Steps to Turn Your Hobby into a Meditative Art Form

This post may contain affiliate links, by which I may be financially compensated. See Disclosures for more info. 


Happy Autumn! At the time I am drafting this post, fall has just ticked over from summer, and we are feeling that shift here in Pittsburgh. I am enjoying the cool mornings, warm and sunny afternoons, and crisp evenings, and I plan to enjoy every minute of it. 

Most people "hate" this change over from summer because they know winter is coming soon after, but I choose to live in the moment and take it for what it is: gorgeous weather. There will be time to complain about rain and snow soon enough. :) 

We all know that 2020 has been a you-know-what, am I right? There are so many lessons in this year. For this month's post, I wanted to talk about how you can use hobbies to gain some peace. I've mentioned it before, both in writing and in talks I've given—indeed, I was supposed to give a workshop on this topic in Sedona this past spring, but that never happened—so let's talk about it here instead!

As you may know from past posts, I'm really into prayer, meditation, and intuition work as a source of being true to myself, to always make decisions based on that truth, and to keep my blood pressure and stress hormone levels low. Paying attention to and developing these skills has brought me a great deal of peace in my life: reducing anxiety, helping me sleep better, and keeping me clear-minded. But it was only in the last several years that I realized I could apply these concepts to my crafting hobbies. 

You see, I used to be a stressy crafter. I used to craft as a means of escape, but would often find myself ruminating in the background. I had the wrong idea of what "escape" meant. My mind was so focused on what was bothering me that soon I'd find I was stabbing the fabric when I cross-stitched, tightening my tension too much in my knitting, or constantly breaking my singles while spinning yarn due to not paying attention to my drafting.

But now, I realize that "escape" is really transcendence, that I can craft my way to peace by being mindful about what I'm doing instead of ruminating. Keep reading... 

I've turned crafting into my own form of meditation. 

There are five steps you can take to start turning your hobby into a meditative practice and pass along all that good energy to others while you're at it. Here are the 5 steps I take every time I sit down to work on a hobby: 

1. Breathe and stretch — before picking up my piece, I take a good 5–10 deep breaths. I stretch my neck, my hands, roll my shoulders, and shake out any tension from the day.
2. Focus — I focus on the craft I'm about to pick up. For example, if I'm going to crochet, then I put myself into "crochet mind" by envisioning myself using the hook to make something beautiful. 
3. Set an intention — whoever the recipient is going to be (including myself), I imagine that person in my mind and set a nice wish for them. I picture them wearing it or using it or smiling upon opening it. I imagine them happy and at peace. I might think of a specific situation that I want to turn out well for them and say prayers for them. This is where intuition can step in and help, too: what is your intuition telling you about what the recipient needs? You can pick up on that and focus on something good for them based on that nudge.
4. Work mindfully—once I've done steps 1–3, I pick up the piece and begin. As I work, I continue to engage my breathing. Deep breaths in and out; no shallow breathing. I also focus on keeping my tension even. If I start to tense up, or feel my shoulders start to rise, I take a second to regroup, breathe, and focus on even tension. I refocus on happy things for the person I'm working the piece for. Mindfulness is the name of the game in this step.
5. Don't ruminate! — energy transference is real, and I don't want to infuse the piece with anything negative. If I find my mind chewing on problems, I stop, regroup, breathe, then continue working. I stay focused on the task at hand; not my problems, the world's problems, or any other problems I could possibly dream up. If I start to ruminate, I might smile to myself to break the cycle, then...you guessed it: take a second to breathe, set my intention and envision happy things for the recipient again, and only then do I continue. If I can't get this last part right, then I put the piece down. (More about that in the next section.)

Energy Transference and Crafting

Some people take their crafts to the next level by learning new skills. I take mine to the next level with energy and intention. Some folks don't believe energy transference is real, but have you ever found yourself around someone really negative and not wanted to hang out with them any more? 

Your crafts (and any recipients, including yourself) are similarly affected. Don't put your bad mood into your work. Level yourself up by using intention and breath work. If you want to take your crafting into a safe space, where you can GET AWAY from your problems, not ruminate or stress out, taking steps 1–5 above are a great way to do that. I promise you it's next-level stuff. You may even find you're branching out in your actual skills as you engage with this new way of crafting. I can't tell you what this has done for my own abilities!

This process has become so important to me, so ingrained into my lifestyle now, that if I'm in a bad mood, stressed out, etc., I absolutely WILL NOT pick up a craft until I shift my mindset. I will not put any negativity into that piece, especially since most of what I make now goes to other people. Why would I give them a gift that has anything negative attached to it?

Here are some scenarios you can consider, followed by suggested answers/intentions.

• How would a new parent feel about that gorgeous baby blanket you made swaddling their precious newborn if they knew you were angsty and angry about politics while making it? (Put politics aside and imagine that newborn growing up happy, healthy, cute, and giggly as they have tummy time and learn to crawl on that beautiful blanket.)
• How would your mom feel while wearing the gorgeous necklace you made for her birthday if she knew you were upset about something the entire time you made it? (Why are you upset? Identify and deal with it, then take steps 1–5 and work on the necklace for your mom without those bad feelings; imagine her smiling beautifully and feeling thrilled as she proudly wears your elegant creation.)
• How would your child feel hugging the new stuffed animal you sewed for them if they knew you cried over it every night while you made it because that was the only time you had to yourself and could let out your tears? (It's tough being a parent, and parents often hide their feelings while putting their kids first. Have your cry first, then take steps 1–5 and sew that stuffy with a clear mind while imagining your kiddo enjoying the heck out of their new toy.)
• How would a cancer patient feel wearing the chemo cap you made for them if they knew it had all your work frustrations stuck in it? (Look, we all have work frustrations. Moan about it to a coworker or friend first to get it out of your system. Then set an intention for that cancer patient, that they will be warm and comforted by this hat and that they will regain full health; imagine them vibrant and happy and resuming activities they love to do.)

Do you see how using your imagination is a part of setting your intentions? 

By taking a few moments to center yourself, breathe, envision positive things, watch your tension levels, etc., you are helping both yourself and the recipient of your gift. 

This applies even if the item you're making is for yourself. By having a mindful crafting practice, you are helping yourself doubly. I absolutely ADORE a blanket I made for myself and feel so comforted by it because I know I am wrapped up in not only soft and squishy yarn, but in the positive feelings and intent I set for myself while I made it. 

Take Breaks for Physical Health and Flow

Finally, in order to make sure you stay healthy physically along with all this awesome emotional work you're doing, make sure you take some breaks. Don't get a repetitive stress injury (RSI) by doing a craft or hobby for too long. On your breaks, drink water or herbal tea and stretch. Do a little bit of flow, like Yoga, Tai Chi, Qi gong, or walking around. Keep that healthy, deep breathing pattern going. When you resume the project, remember to keep your intention in mind and stay in that positive mindset as you work.

You can apply the concepts I use to any hobby, too, as far as I can tell. Imagine following a similar process whether you're a knitter, crocheter, painter, jeweler, stamp collector, scrapbooker, woodworker, metalworker, sculptor.... The important thing is to breathe, flow, and set your intention to be a positive one. 

The bottom line is: hobby time is an opportunity to create a mindful and meditative state that positively affects both yourself and others.

Drop me a comment and tell me: 

• Have you been crafting or hobbying during the pandemic? If so, what are you making or doing?
• If not, do you think you might try it again using these techniques to "meditate"? 
• Have you ever done anything like what I do?

I look forward to hearing from you! 

Oh, and if you want to follow my crafting projects, you can find them on my newly resurrected Crafting/DIY blog!

Be safe, be well, and take care. Till next time! 💛🐝

 ~positively b.e.e. is on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Pinterest. Follow me there!~

Using the Power of Your Mind: Virtual Vacations in the Time of COVID-19

Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links, by which I may be financially compensated. See Disclosures for more info. 

It's now July. The heat of summer is SIZZLING!! I don't know about where you live, but it's been in the high 90s here in Pittsburgh! I feel like I could fry an egg and bacon on the sidewalk and no one would bat an eyelash.

Typically I'd be down south by now, spending some time with my parents near the North Carolina beaches, enjoying a mix of high heat and humidity juxtaposed with ocean breezes and gentle evenings listening to the peepers.

But then COVID-19 happened, messing up vacation plans the world over.

I could sit here and be upset that I can't travel right now. I could feel bad for myself, even though I really have nothing to feel bad about. After all, I'm healthy and employed...I don't really have anything to complain about, except for general worry for the world, which sometimes lends to unhappiness and a feeling of helplessness.

Or, I could, you know...just not. Why put energy into something negative if I can at all help it? 

Everyone needs some time off, though, whether from work or other things. So in the absence of vacation plans, what's a girl to do? 

I've decided to find the feeling of vacation within myself instead of literally. 

Let me explain.

The ocean is where I find my peace. Unfortunately, I’m landlocked and can’t easily get to one without traveling through areas that might expose me to COVID-19. That isn't a risk I'm about to take, so instead, I'll go there in my mind. 

How? 

Well, here are some examples: 

• I watch YouTube videos of ocean waves and beach sunrises. 🌊 
• I create photo collages for my computer desktop that evoke the positive feelings I get from the ocean and beach. (I use Canva for this; it's a great tool with lots of free or paid options!)
• I listen to sound files of waves breaking and seagulls calling. 
• I sit and recall what the feeling of sand squishing between my toes is like. 
• I imagine myself building a sand castle. 
• I have seashells 🐚 near my desk. 
• If I could import the smell of salt water and sand and seaweed, I would, but instead I just spritz a room spray. I found this awesome beachy-smelling essential oil to run in my diffuser, too. 

Through any or all of these activities, I can simply imagine myself there!😊

I decided to take it one step further, though, and made myself a video for a virtual ocean getaway. Enjoy this quick, virtual trip to the beach! 

(I did that using Canva, too, actually.) 

Look, I know it's not perfect, but our minds are POWERFUL things! We can imagine our way to a sense of peace again. It's no different than meditation ... it's just a different kind of meditation.

I hope this reminder that we can use our imaginations to create a sense of peace within us and take a mini virtual vacation inspires you! After all, the mind is a powerful tool!

So tell me: What do you do to put yourself in a good frame of mind? Where do you go in your imagination when you want to be at your happy  place? What concepts or memories take you there and comfort you? Share your ideas below! 👇

And if you created a photo collage or a video and you want to share, please do! 💛🐝

Have a wonderful rest of July. I'll see you next month!

 ~positively b.e.e. is on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Pinterest. Follow me there for more content!~

 

On Pandemics and Productivity

Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links, by which I may be financially compensated. See Disclosures for more info. 

I can't believe we are already halfway through June, and I've only made one substantive post and two announcements here in 2020, so last week I sent my mailing list a message explaining my absence these past few months.

While I may not have any kind of viral following, the following I do have is steady, and people noticed I wasn't writing. Some asked me why. I gave them the basic answer but didn't really get into any negative things, because I'm not much of a complainer, and other people were going through so much more than I was — I didn't want to pile on.

I've been wanting to write here, but just...couldn't. And now I feel like I can again, but it seems weird to just resume writing without acknowledging that something happened. So let's get into the WHY of my absence. 

Between a deadly pandemic, natural disasters, racial injustice, and societal tensions, I wasn't coping too well. I got completely overwhelmed, actually. 

I'm a worrier by nature, and while I've worked very hard to turn that around and have had great success with that over the years, this particular set of events these last few months challenged me in new ways. My mindset DEFINITELY took a hit.

I mean, it hasn't been ALL bad. At the start of the year, I started a new dream job, where I was hired by a client to be a full-time editor. I still freelance evenings and weekends, too. And since the last time you've heard from me, I had the opportunity to perform Carmina Burana at Carnegie Music Hall with the Pittsburgh Concert Chorale just before COVID-19 hit its stride.

But then everything shut down, and so did I. I felt like a failure, not being able to write, but the words simply wouldn't come. I focused on sharing uplifting content on the Facebook page, and otherwise let this site slide. 

Maybe it was different for other people, but for me, apparently a pandemic isn't a good time to be creative. 

So then for some reason, thinking the pandemic would somehow give me more time to focus on "getting things done" (influenced, I'm sure, by the gazillions of articles and posts I saw where people were taking on pandemic projects) I decided I could at least be "productive" for positively b.e.e. by revamping the website. 

...which I didn't actually do, because I'm not exactly good (or patient) with tech stuff like building websites. I was struggling with design components and tech limitations and a lack of knowledge, and I simply stopped trying. 

Apparently a pandemic may not be a great time to be extra productive, either.

via GIPHY

Let's be clear: I was managing basic productivity in terms of getting my regular work done. I'm a hard worker and able to compartmentalize in order to meet deadlines. But I'd work all day, do some freelance work at night or on weekends, and then...fizzle out. There really wasn't enough gas left in the tank for anything else. Add to that the fact that compartmentalization only works so well...once you start not living your true feelings, there can be side effects.

I constantly felt worried, stressed out, exhausted, and like I didn't have anything left in me after each work day ended. I was not sleeping right—well, let's be fair, I'm not much of a sleeper, anyway—but it was ten times worse than usual. I'd wake up in the middle of the night and worry incessantly about things. 

And I know I wasn't alone in this, because I saw it on my social media feeds. People were being stretched really thin emotionally, and it showed.

My meditation practice went down the drain, I had trouble concentrating, I had literally no desire to write, and the only comfort I found was to bury myself in working on an intricate blanket pattern that I'd bought on Ravelry. (A blanket I started nearly a year ago and only just finished, I might add.)

I have a lot of half-started projects around the house, too, which I would give a go but then just stop. I couldn't really get anything to stick.  It was basically a sense of listlessness. In between articles and posts about how productive or creative some people were being were just as many posts about how other people were having issues getting anything done. 

Did any of you experience the same? How did you cope?

Anyway, a few weeks ago, I subscribed to the Calm app. (THANK YOU to my credit card company, who offered a full year's membership FOR FREE!) If nothing else, it gave some structure to my day that didn't involve work or "getting things done." 

Doing the "Daily Calm" session is ten minutes a day where I can disconnect from all of those negative feelings and reconnect with something resembling peace. I also started listening to their sleep meditations and stories, which helped me whenever I'd wake up in the middle of the night and start ruminating unhealthily. 

Apparently a pandemic IS a good time to change up your meditation practice? 

via GIPHY

After a few weeks of the new meditation routine, it seems to have done some good.

The theme of one of the meditations from last week was all about acceptance. After that session, I felt the best I had in a LONG time, and it's because some things synced into place for me. I realized AND accepted: 

☆ I can only do what I can do. 

☆ Pandemics aren't great times to "get things done."

☆ It's okay to slow down a little and take stock.

☆ It's okay not to be creative or productive during times of great distress.

☆ It's okay to take any time that I need for my well-being and mental health. 

And finally:

☆ I am definitely no web master! 😂 

So there it is. I went offline for a bit and accomplished, well, not much at all....and I accept that! I instantly forgave myself for not writing, not creating, and not revamping the website.

It was so freeing! And with that freedom came the first spark of creativity I'd felt in a long time. 

As I said to my subscribers, the time of being "shut down" is coming to an end, both literally and figuratively. As things begin to reopen in the world, I feel my spirit reopening, too. I feel I can write again.

Look, I don't write all this to make a spectacle. This isn't about "poor Beth" or anything. I'm not looking for any sympathy, and I have a TON to be grateful for.  

What this IS about is you. 

That's right. 

I want you to know that it's okay if you weren't super productive or creative during these uncertain times. I wanted to share my story—REAL TALK, not just the highlights—to let you know that you aren't alone if you had any of these feelings or difficulties over these last several months. 

While the focus of this blog is on positivity—getting the most out of life through gratitude, joy, fun, and other such things—you can't really appreciate or learn the positivity without looking the negative stuff dead in the eye. 

I'm often commended for my positive attitude, but at the end of the day, I'm just like anyone else: I have bad days, weeks, or months. I go through really rough times emotionally sometimes, especially in extraordinary circumstances. We all do —and that's normal. 

There are ways to get out of any of these negative moods again, eventually. That's why I started this blog all those years ago: to focus on ways to disrupt that negativity. I may be good at resilience, recovery, and regaining a positive outlook after taking a few hits in life, but that's only because I've had lots of practice at it. It takes time to heal.

There are resources to get help, healthy ways to find comfort or peace, and most of all, it's important to forgive yourself if you feel you've failed at something during this really extraordinary time in our world.

So with that, I'd like to hear from you and find out how you've been coping and if you have any advice for me and other readers. Please drop a comment below!

In the meantime, consider some of the below ideas if you're feeling rough around the edges: 

• The Calm app. It's been amazing for regaining my inner peace. There are other apps out there, too, if Calm isn't the right fit for you, or maybe you want to try Tranquil Fern's mediation series.
• Jonathan Kirkendall's 30-second(ish) Therapy (he has a particularly good meditation about uncertain times). Jon's posts always brighten my day!
• positively b.e.e.'s Facebook page, which has content in between blog posts to help you stay upbeat 
• Turn off the news. Seriously. It's on 24/7, it's everywhere, it's negative, and it's never-ending. Find a rhythm with the news cycle that doesn't trigger you into negative emotions.
• Limit your time on social media. Mute the really negative people if you have to for a few days. Give yourself a break. I took the apps off my phone and that created some space for me to consciously participate instead of endlessly scrolling bad news, online fighting, and the other ridiculously negative stuff we see on a daily basis
• Try to get some exercise if you can, since it will help with relaxation and releasing endorphins, which help you feel better emotionally. If you aren't comfortable going back to the gym yet when they reopen, there are a ton of free exercise videos on YouTube and other venues. The world is your exercise oyster—you only need to avail yourself of it. Here are some resources that I've used: 
• my gym posts a free workout every day on their Facebook page
• Leslie Sansone always has free walking workouts 
• Misty Tripoli can get you dancing
• there are tons of free Yoga videos, too
• there's always a quick walk or bike ride around the block 

And finally, if you need it, consider talking to a professional counselor. I found a list of sites that may be able to help, and/or your employer or health insurance may offer either an Employee Assistance Program or other access to mental health care. If you are unemployed or underemployed due to the pandemic, some providers may accept a sliding scale based on what you can afford. 

I know these have been a difficult few months in particular, and we've all been through the wringer a bit. In reading this, I hope you:

• don't feel alone if you were
• know that these feelings are normal if you're having them 
• find peace in uncertain times 
• forgive yourself if feel like you haven't weathered current events as well as you'd like, and
• find resources that may help

I feel like I'm starting to get my groove back, and I hope this post helps you find yours, too. Until next month, be well! Take care of yourselves, okay? 💛🐝

 ~positively b.e.e. is on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Pinterest. Follow me there!~

Getting Grounded: A Meditation

This post may contain affiliate links, by which I may be financially compensated. See Disclosures. 

This week’s topic was inspired by a priest who got me thinking about grounding. And while I'm going to tell you about a priest, this isn't a religious post, but I will touch on some themes of a greater metaphysical nature. 

But let me start with a tiny bit of background, first.

I recently visited my parents for a couple of weeks. When I’m there, I attend their church in the Myrtle Beach Area. I really like their parish. For one thing, people are very nice, and the music is good. For another, the church building itself is giant and beautiful! The outside has a very light, almost Spanish architectural feel to it, with the light stucco exterior and red tile roof. The interior has the traditional cathedral-like layout, basically in the form of a cross, where people can sit on three sides of the altar. There are also balconies on each side, as well.

Here’s a picture I took from the lobby looking in during Christmas 2017 (which doesn’t nearly do it justice, but you can see additional photos on their website).

©Beth Wojiski, 2017-2019

Their parish seems different from churches here in the Pittsburgh area, though. The thing I’ve noticed over the years both here and elsewhere is reduced attendance at Mass. Big, beautiful churches are sparsely populated, it seems. The Catholic Diocese of Pittsburgh has been forced to close churches and schools, combine parishes, and send priests traveling between several churches to say Mass in many different places instead of just serving at one.

Not so at my parents’ church! Not only are they packed to the gills every time I go, but they’ve actually had to add Mass times to the weekend schedule to accommodate the burgeoning need.

Now, this can probably be attributed to a few things, including people leaving communities like Pittsburgh and other cities in order to move to the South in their retirement years. Pittsburgh may be losing attendees while the Myrtle Beach area is gaining them, but they’re the same people. And I will say the majority of the parishioners in my parents’ church do appear to be retirees. But I also see many younger families and people in their twenties, too.

I don’t think that changing population statistics are the only thing to explain the jam-packed attendance at this place. The type of attendance that if you want to go to 5:00 p.m. Mass on a Saturday, well, you’d better get there by 4:15-4:30 to get a parking spot!

No, I think at least some of the draw is the priests who serve there. Their sermons are always entertaining and engaging! They’re great at telling a story, and I always walk out of there smiling.

Let’s take the priest who inspired this post as an example:

He started his homily (this is the Catholic name for “sermon,” by the way) by calling it his “meditation.”

Not his sermon.

His meditation.

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

I liked this descriptor. It seems humble, doesn’t it? He wasn't preaching at us. He meditated upon the week’s readings. He had a spiritual message to share. It seemed more of a mystical experience shared in a moment of human-to-human interaction, like you'd go to someone's house and just have a deep conversation. But then he did something incredible:

HE TOOK OFF HIS SHOES. 

Right there; right on the steps leading up the altar, he sat down and took off his shoes, then stood up and started speaking while walking around in his stocking feet. He wandered in and out of the pews, making sure he got to all sides of the church, getting up close to people as he spoke. He’d look at someone up in the balcony from time to time and speak directly to them. It was dynamic!

He was having a huge impact. . .and he was just this one, tiny guy in his socks.

Now, before I hear some of you go “Ew!” or “Disrespectful,” hear me out.

He explained that growing up where he did, he didn’t even wear shoes til he was 17. He also talked very earnestly about the importance of taking your shoes off. Of letting your feet touch the ground. About being in physical communication with the earth. I’m totally paraphrasing, here, but he basically said to touch the earth with your feet and understand how beautiful and connected it all is. How connected we all are! He then continued his sermon about serving in any way you can and how every single person has something to share with the world, no matter their stature, age, means, or anything else.

Guys, this priest basically just taught us the principles of grounding, humility and service right there in a packed church at about 5:30 on a Saturday night, and I don’t know if anyone else thought it was weird that he was in his socks grounding the whole time, but for me, well, I couldn’t stop smiling. In my 47 years and growing up Catholic, I have NEVER seen this in a Catholic church before, but I liked it!

We all know about how lightning will travel to the ground, essentially connecting heavens to earth. Well, take that idea and apply it to a more metaphysical level: grounding is when you connect with the earth through your feet and let that connection calm you, center you, and give you a feeling of stability. Some people believe it creates a connection between heaven and earth, through you. Now if you’re religious at all, you can translate that much in the way that I think the priest was trying to tell us: we are all pieces of the larger picture, each of us has our connection to each other, the earth, and God. He even created a hashtag for his homily, guys. (#777HereIAm). He was 100% engaged and connected.

Photo by Justin Groep on Unsplash

Now this isn't a religious blog, but the greater messaging was not lost on me. There is a spiritual connection between us all, and sometimes we lose it. We're tired, distracted, overwhelmed, and overworked. All of these things can make us feel negative.

So how do we regain that sense of connectedness and get positive again?

Well, we can start by taking off our shoes.

Have you ever felt warm sand between your toes at the ocean? Or cool blades of grass as you wandered barefoot in your backyard? How did it feel?

Doesn't it feel good to feel the earth with your feet?

Next time you’re feeling stressed, disconnected, frazzled: try it. Kick off those shoes, roll those socks off, and let those little piddies feel the earth, or the sand, or the grass, or the dirt, or the ocean. As you do, let the stresses fade away. Settle yourself down outside and take 5 minutes to JUST BE. Breathe in and out slowly and let your body’s natural rhythm take over, instead of letting anything or anyone else (boss, family, your to-do list) set your pace. JUST BREATHE. As you take those 5 minutes, let any thoughts just pass on through. You don’t need to shove them away, but just acknowledge them, say hi, and let them pass on by.

This in and of itself should be a start to help you disrupt any negativity you may be feeling today or any other day. In addition, there’s something very humbling about taking off your shoes. You are no longer defined or constrained by what you have. It is just you, connecting your humble self to the earth, while the earth is connected to the rest of the world.

You are literally free to just be you.

You may be but one small part of the infinitesimal, brilliant universe, but your connection to everything and everyone around you is important. By grounding yourself, you help bring peace to your own life, and by extension, to those around you.

To me, that thought is both humbling and awe-inspiring. The act of grounding is, on its own, a simple, positive act of service.

I hope it’s given you some things to think about as you go into the next week.

Peace be with you... 💛🐝

 ~positively b.e.e. is on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Pinterest. Follow me there!~

Fortune Cookie Friday: Impatience

This post may contain affiliate links, by which I may be financially compensated. See Disclosures. 



Hello everyone, and happy Friday! I hope you are going to take some time to relax and recenter this weekend, enjoying the moments fully—and here’s why:

Any impatience you show will only create more stress. 

I love today’s fortune, because if I’m honest, I can sometimes be a bit impatient. Were I to examine this further, I realize that I often want to get to the "good stuff," whether that’s the feeling of accomplishment when finishing a project, or wanting to start my vacation already and get to my destination. I’ve done a lot of work in recent years on slowing down, taking stock, breathing, and living more in the moment, but I tell you, it’s sometimes a struggle!

If I manage to slow down, though, I find that I can enjoy where I am fully and presently, and it’s a lot more peaceful. The alternative—impatience—leads me to more stress, because it creates within me a constant yearning for something. I mean, isn’t that what impatience is? It’s a yearning of some type, wanting something to be over in order to get to something else. Think about it: have you ever spent all week hoping for Friday? All day waiting for the work day to end? Weaving in and out of traffic so you can go faster and get home or to your destination?

How do any of those—or similar—scenarios make you feel?

Hang on... Let’s consult my go-to, Merriam-Webster, on this:

Definition of impatient:
1a : not patient : restless or short of temper especially under irritation, delay, or opposition
b : INTOLERANT sense 1
impatient of delay
2 : prompted or marked by impatience
an impatient reply
3 : eagerly desirous : ANXIOUS
impatient to get home
(source: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/impatient)

There it is, folks! Item #3: “eagerly desirous : ANXIOUS”

Now who wants to be in an anxious or stressed-out state all the time?

Not me. Not any more.

I’ve recently started some new practices in my life to try to slow down. For instance, while I’ve been good at meditating on an ad hoc basis, I haven’t really made it a regular part of my day. That changed nearly two weeks ago, when I started a 21-day meditation series that came free with my Audible membership, and it’s really made a difference in my life already! I find by taking 10 minutes to get calm every day, my breathing gets more regular, I don’t react to stressors as easily, and I’m feeling pretty good about things in general. And it turns out, there’s a scientific reason for that!

This reason is described in a book I recently started reading that was recommended by a friend of mine. I’d planned on doing a full book review here when I’m done with it, but why not let you guys know about it now so you can start it, if you want? I’ll still do the review later.

It’s called Buddha's Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom by Rick Hanson with Richard Mendius. I love this book so far because it discusses in very plain terms why our brains are more wired to hold on to the negative experiences and the stressors, and how suffering is caused by yearning. They then offer solutions to help you rewire your brain, including explaining why, scientifically, things like breathing and meditation WORK. But they do it in a way where it isn't difficult to understand. Neuroscience for regular people...gotta love it!

Better yet, I just found out yesterday that there is a companion audiobook, Meditations to Change Your Brain: Rewire Your Neural Pathways to Transform Your Life. Since I had an Audible credit, guess what I just downloaded? I’ll start it after I finish my current 21-day meditation cycle, and will let you know how it is. (Note, it’s available on Audio CD, as well, if that’s more your thing, and you can always buy the MP3 outright instead of having an Audible membership.)

Suffice to say, I’ve been thinking about impatience and suffering, lately, and I have to simply agree with this fortune. Impatience will only create more stress...but there are ways to avoid that.

Photo by Simon Migaj on Unsplash

I hope this post has helped you consider ways in which you might be impatient in your own lives, and how that may be influencing your outlook, world view, or basic state of being. I hope you are inspired to shift that state from one of unhappiness and stress into one of calm, joyful, self-fulfillment.

I hope you’ll share this with friends and family who may need to read it. Please share far and wide!

Be well, and have a wonderful weekend! 💛🐝

 ~positively b.e.e. is on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Pinterest. Follow me there!~

Quiet Your Mind And Your Heart Will Follow

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"Quiet your mind and your heart will follow."

I woke up with that in my head on a recent morning. It was the last thing I remember from a dream I was having. I sat straight up, grabbed a pen and paper, and jotted it down. It was loud, too, as if someone in the room had said it right next to me. You don't ignore something like that!

At the time, I was struggling with some decisions I needed to make. Well, decisions we (my husband and I) were mulling over. It's a good problem to have when you have a lot of options for a situation, but for me, sometimes having too many options makes it difficult for me to see the path right in front of me.

I knew what I was being told: that I needed to quiet my mind and my heart would know and seek the true path.

I have a habit of letting things get to me, and they get all swirled up in my mind. It's like a cacophony of mental sound inside of me, every thought fighting to be heard.

Can you relate at all? If so, what do you do to quell it?

I've explored various techniques on how to deal with this over the years: pro/con lists, journaling, talking it out with people, but today I would like to share a meditation I've been doing that has been helping me with this problem.

I start by sitting quietly and comfortably, feet flat on the floor, hands in my lap. If you try this and you feel you need calming music, then play some music softly in the background. I prefer to sit in utter silence, and you'll see why, below.

Take a few deep breaths, letting them out slowly but fully. Let each breath go deeper than the one before. Let the tension of the day drop away with each breath. Stretch a little, settle into how your body feels and consciously relax each muscle, joint, and limb.

If thoughts crop up, acknowledge them, and then let them go. They will probably crop up a few times, and that's okay, just keep acknowledging them and letting them go.

Take more deep breaths, and SMILE. Did you know smiling can calm you down and raise good endorphins?

After several clearing breaths, I let my awareness extend outwards to connect with sounds around me: children playing, birds chirping, cars passing by on the road, a dog barking in the distance, that really insistent woodpecker in the backyard. It takes my mind out of myself and connects me with the outer world. (This is why I often don't use music.) The reason I do this is because by putting my awareness OUTWARDS, I stop focusing on what is INWARDS in my head.

After a few moments of being out of my own head, I am then able to bring my awareness back within, and picture myself in a place that is calm and happy. For me, it's often a quiet beach with calm waves lapping the shore, much like the beaches I grew up with in Connecticut.

Then, I let my higher 'self' connect with heaven, and I pray. I ask God to guide me down the right path.

Photo by Jacek Dylag on Unsplash

After praying, I sit silently again, just paying attention to my breathing, and continue to acknowledge and let go any confusing thoughts that crop up. I sit in a space of quiet gratitude and light, continuing to breathe. By this point, the confusing thoughts are generally gone, and I have only one or two thoughts happening. If I try to jettison them and they come back solidly, then I know those are the ones I should address.

I don't really know how I arrived at this method. It's just from a variety of things I've tried over the years and it's developed from there. One thing I know for sure is that this doesn't come from me. The letting go of my ego and connecting my awareness outward during the meditation is necessary for me to truly quiet my mind, connect above, and know the right path. That step came during another moment of intuition and message last year, and I took it to heart and started implementing it.

One more thing: I've found that there will be what Kim Chestney calls "Godwinks"—signs from above to do something—that are obvious to me if I bother to pay attention. I know for myself, whenever I ignore them, they will fight to be heard even louder, sometimes to unpleasant consequences. When I look back on my life now, I see them so clearly. I've just had another situation in which it was clear I was not in balance with who I am supposed to be and what I am supposed to do, and I'm listening up. BIG CHANGES coming in my life right now, but they're GOOD ONES. Being in balance with God and the universe has never been more important to me, and makes my decisions even easier when I listen instead of ignoring it.

Comment below or on social media and let me know: have you ever felt something similar? How do you quiet your mind so that your heart can follow? Do you have any favorite tricks for this?

🐝

Want to read Kim's book? You can find it here. And if you are local to the Pittsburgh region and get a chance to do a workshop with Kim, I highly recommend working with her. You can find out more about workshops and events she offers at her website. You may recall I attended an event she helped create back in January, and you can read what that was like here.



 ~~ positively b.e.e. is on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Pinterest. Follow me there!