Getting Grounded: A Meditation

This post may contain affiliate links, by which I may be financially compensated. See Disclosures. 

This week’s topic was inspired by a priest who got me thinking about grounding. And while I'm going to tell you about a priest, this isn't a religious post, but I will touch on some themes of a greater metaphysical nature. 

But let me start with a tiny bit of background, first.

I recently visited my parents for a couple of weeks. When I’m there, I attend their church in the Myrtle Beach Area. I really like their parish. For one thing, people are very nice, and the music is good. For another, the church building itself is giant and beautiful! The outside has a very light, almost Spanish architectural feel to it, with the light stucco exterior and red tile roof. The interior has the traditional cathedral-like layout, basically in the form of a cross, where people can sit on three sides of the altar. There are also balconies on each side, as well.

Here’s a picture I took from the lobby looking in during Christmas 2017 (which doesn’t nearly do it justice, but you can see additional photos on their website).

©Beth Wojiski, 2017-2019

Their parish seems different from churches here in the Pittsburgh area, though. The thing I’ve noticed over the years both here and elsewhere is reduced attendance at Mass. Big, beautiful churches are sparsely populated, it seems. The Catholic Diocese of Pittsburgh has been forced to close churches and schools, combine parishes, and send priests traveling between several churches to say Mass in many different places instead of just serving at one.

Not so at my parents’ church! Not only are they packed to the gills every time I go, but they’ve actually had to add Mass times to the weekend schedule to accommodate the burgeoning need.

Now, this can probably be attributed to a few things, including people leaving communities like Pittsburgh and other cities in order to move to the South in their retirement years. Pittsburgh may be losing attendees while the Myrtle Beach area is gaining them, but they’re the same people. And I will say the majority of the parishioners in my parents’ church do appear to be retirees. But I also see many younger families and people in their twenties, too.

I don’t think that changing population statistics are the only thing to explain the jam-packed attendance at this place. The type of attendance that if you want to go to 5:00 p.m. Mass on a Saturday, well, you’d better get there by 4:15-4:30 to get a parking spot!

No, I think at least some of the draw is the priests who serve there. Their sermons are always entertaining and engaging! They’re great at telling a story, and I always walk out of there smiling.

Let’s take the priest who inspired this post as an example:

He started his homily (this is the Catholic name for “sermon,” by the way) by calling it his “meditation.”

Not his sermon.

His meditation.

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

I liked this descriptor. It seems humble, doesn’t it? He wasn't preaching at us. He meditated upon the week’s readings. He had a spiritual message to share. It seemed more of a mystical experience shared in a moment of human-to-human interaction, like you'd go to someone's house and just have a deep conversation. But then he did something incredible:

HE TOOK OFF HIS SHOES. 

Right there; right on the steps leading up the altar, he sat down and took off his shoes, then stood up and started speaking while walking around in his stocking feet. He wandered in and out of the pews, making sure he got to all sides of the church, getting up close to people as he spoke. He’d look at someone up in the balcony from time to time and speak directly to them. It was dynamic!

He was having a huge impact. . .and he was just this one, tiny guy in his socks.

Now, before I hear some of you go “Ew!” or “Disrespectful,” hear me out.

He explained that growing up where he did, he didn’t even wear shoes til he was 17. He also talked very earnestly about the importance of taking your shoes off. Of letting your feet touch the ground. About being in physical communication with the earth. I’m totally paraphrasing, here, but he basically said to touch the earth with your feet and understand how beautiful and connected it all is. How connected we all are! He then continued his sermon about serving in any way you can and how every single person has something to share with the world, no matter their stature, age, means, or anything else.

Guys, this priest basically just taught us the principles of grounding, humility and service right there in a packed church at about 5:30 on a Saturday night, and I don’t know if anyone else thought it was weird that he was in his socks grounding the whole time, but for me, well, I couldn’t stop smiling. In my 47 years and growing up Catholic, I have NEVER seen this in a Catholic church before, but I liked it!

We all know about how lightning will travel to the ground, essentially connecting heavens to earth. Well, take that idea and apply it to a more metaphysical level: grounding is when you connect with the earth through your feet and let that connection calm you, center you, and give you a feeling of stability. Some people believe it creates a connection between heaven and earth, through you. Now if you’re religious at all, you can translate that much in the way that I think the priest was trying to tell us: we are all pieces of the larger picture, each of us has our connection to each other, the earth, and God. He even created a hashtag for his homily, guys. (#777HereIAm). He was 100% engaged and connected.

Photo by Justin Groep on Unsplash

Now this isn't a religious blog, but the greater messaging was not lost on me. There is a spiritual connection between us all, and sometimes we lose it. We're tired, distracted, overwhelmed, and overworked. All of these things can make us feel negative.

So how do we regain that sense of connectedness and get positive again?

Well, we can start by taking off our shoes.

Have you ever felt warm sand between your toes at the ocean? Or cool blades of grass as you wandered barefoot in your backyard? How did it feel?

Doesn't it feel good to feel the earth with your feet?

Next time you’re feeling stressed, disconnected, frazzled: try it. Kick off those shoes, roll those socks off, and let those little piddies feel the earth, or the sand, or the grass, or the dirt, or the ocean. As you do, let the stresses fade away. Settle yourself down outside and take 5 minutes to JUST BE. Breathe in and out slowly and let your body’s natural rhythm take over, instead of letting anything or anyone else (boss, family, your to-do list) set your pace. JUST BREATHE. As you take those 5 minutes, let any thoughts just pass on through. You don’t need to shove them away, but just acknowledge them, say hi, and let them pass on by.

This in and of itself should be a start to help you disrupt any negativity you may be feeling today or any other day. In addition, there’s something very humbling about taking off your shoes. You are no longer defined or constrained by what you have. It is just you, connecting your humble self to the earth, while the earth is connected to the rest of the world.

You are literally free to just be you.

You may be but one small part of the infinitesimal, brilliant universe, but your connection to everything and everyone around you is important. By grounding yourself, you help bring peace to your own life, and by extension, to those around you.

To me, that thought is both humbling and awe-inspiring. The act of grounding is, on its own, a simple, positive act of service.

I hope it’s given you some things to think about as you go into the next week.

Peace be with you... 💛🐝

 ~positively b.e.e. is on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Pinterest. Follow me there!~

The Magic of Kindness

This post may contain affiliate links, by which I may be financially compensated. See Disclosures. 

It's Wednesday, so let's have a mid-week pick-me-up with a heartwarming story.

There is a guy named Dan Peterson. His wife had passed away, and he was terribly lonely. He'd really hit a low point in life.

He was going through the motions one day, trying to do some grocery shopping, when a little girl being pushed in a shopping cart by her mother waved at him and said, "Hi old person! It's my birfday today!"

He admits to being taken aback, and her mother was mortified at her child's brazen and inelegant way of addressing the older gentleman, but then, the little girl asked Mr. Peterson for a hug.

So he gave her one!

And thus was a born a lasting friendship between elder and toddler. Several generations lie between them, but they are inseparable.

Norah, the little girl, has given Dan Peterson a new lease on life. She said, "I thought he needed a friend because he was sad."

Now, Mr. Peterson is no longer miserable or stuck in his grief due to his new friend. Norah has healed him in the way that only a true human connection can.

Mr. Peterson recently got to watch Norah graduate from preschool. It's as if he's her own grandfather, now, and they get to learn from each other every day.

✨You have magic in you. Did you know that?✨

Photo by Robert Baker on Unsplash

A small act of kindness is like magic, and no matter how small that act, it can seem like a big deal to someone who is hurting. We're often taught as kids, "Don't talk to strangers," but sometimes, a stranger needs you. Much like Norah reached out to Mr. Peterson, you can reach out to someone, too. Even if it's just to smile at them, or give a passing "hello," you could really turn their whole day—or life—around in the blink of an eye.

I'm so happy for Norah and Dan Peterson and their lasting friendship, not constrained by the decades' difference in their ages!

~positively b.e.e. is on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Pinterest. Follow me there!~

Sources: Today / NPR

The Buck and Us

This post may contain affiliate links, by which I may be financially compensated. See Disclosures. 

Tonight the local wildlife gave me a good reminder to put down the phone and enjoy events as they happen without having to document them with photos or video. I decided to write about it, instead, after the fact.

So there I was, washing produce at the kitchen sink, when something caught the corner of my eye. I looked up, and was startled to see a young buck staring right at me through the kitchen window!

Not the actual deer. Photo by Ken Treloar on Unsplash

I managed to not suddenly move or shriek, despite the fact that he really did give me a good fright. I stage-whispered to my husband, "Fred! OMG there's a deer outside the window! He just walked down the walkway and is right here!"

Fred came over swiftly and silently—I'm still not quite sure how he managed that and didn't scare off the deer—and put his arm around me while we watched the buck and he watched us. Eventually he went around the corner, while we followed him from the inside, then the deer stopped to stare at us again through the front window. And there we all were, deer and humans, gazing into each others' eyes.

The moment was SO profound.

We found ourselves wondering: what is he thinking? Is he really seeing us through the window, or sensing us in other ways? He did seem very cautious and young, like he wasn't too sure he should be out wandering the streets or he'd get into trouble, LOL.

He then proceeded to walk down our front lawn, across the street between our two cars, then over to the neighbor's yard. He walked up her front steps, down her side walkway that goes between her house and the house next to hers, and then peered around the corner of the house next to hers.

And then we realized, things were about to get REALLY interesting! Yep...PANIC! CHASING!

The neighbor whose house he was peering around has a big, gorgeous, black German shepherd named Lilo. Lilo chased that deer right back out of her yard, around to the front of the house, and the buck took off like flash right back across the street, past our cars, up the hill to the side of our house, down the side walkway, and into our back yard. Thankfully, Lilo is well-trained, and didn't leave her yard. Once the deer was gone, she went right back to her back yard. I'd have been concerned about both dog and deer getting hit by a car.

Anyway, we ran to the back of the house and peered out the back window, but the buck was GONE. Can't say I blame him. He probably ran all the way back to the park he lives in, as we're near a large, wooded parkland where a lot of deer live.

Throughout this whole thing, had I stopped to grab my phone, open an app, and get a shot, I'd have missed out on the experience entirely, or at least not to the same level as the experience I ended up having. That I could share it with my husband was even more special, and he didn't reach for a phone, either. I'm so glad we didn't miss one single second of this!

This is a great reminder to experience more in the moment and not worry so much about documenting with video or photos. I think sometimes I like to reach for my phone because I'm afraid I'll forget something, or that I want to always remember something, but believe me, I will not forget this at all!

Drop me a line and let me know what you think, or tell me a story about a time when you experienced something profound and didn't bother to memorialize it in photos or video, but just accepted the moment for what it was. I'd love to hear your stories!

 ~positively b.e.e. is on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Pinterest. Follow me there!~

Quiet Your Mind And Your Heart Will Follow

This post may contain affiliate links, by which I may be financially compensated. See Disclosures & Policies on my About page.

"Quiet your mind and your heart will follow."

I woke up with that in my head on a recent morning. It was the last thing I remember from a dream I was having. I sat straight up, grabbed a pen and paper, and jotted it down. It was loud, too, as if someone in the room had said it right next to me. You don't ignore something like that!

At the time, I was struggling with some decisions I needed to make. Well, decisions we (my husband and I) were mulling over. It's a good problem to have when you have a lot of options for a situation, but for me, sometimes having too many options makes it difficult for me to see the path right in front of me.

I knew what I was being told: that I needed to quiet my mind and my heart would know and seek the true path.

I have a habit of letting things get to me, and they get all swirled up in my mind. It's like a cacophony of mental sound inside of me, every thought fighting to be heard.

Can you relate at all? If so, what do you do to quell it?

I've explored various techniques on how to deal with this over the years: pro/con lists, journaling, talking it out with people, but today I would like to share a meditation I've been doing that has been helping me with this problem.

I start by sitting quietly and comfortably, feet flat on the floor, hands in my lap. If you try this and you feel you need calming music, then play some music softly in the background. I prefer to sit in utter silence, and you'll see why, below.

Take a few deep breaths, letting them out slowly but fully. Let each breath go deeper than the one before. Let the tension of the day drop away with each breath. Stretch a little, settle into how your body feels and consciously relax each muscle, joint, and limb.

If thoughts crop up, acknowledge them, and then let them go. They will probably crop up a few times, and that's okay, just keep acknowledging them and letting them go.

Take more deep breaths, and SMILE. Did you know smiling can calm you down and raise good endorphins?

After several clearing breaths, I let my awareness extend outwards to connect with sounds around me: children playing, birds chirping, cars passing by on the road, a dog barking in the distance, that really insistent woodpecker in the backyard. It takes my mind out of myself and connects me with the outer world. (This is why I often don't use music.) The reason I do this is because by putting my awareness OUTWARDS, I stop focusing on what is INWARDS in my head.

After a few moments of being out of my own head, I am then able to bring my awareness back within, and picture myself in a place that is calm and happy. For me, it's often a quiet beach with calm waves lapping the shore, much like the beaches I grew up with in Connecticut.

Then, I let my higher 'self' connect with heaven, and I pray. I ask God to guide me down the right path.

Photo by Jacek Dylag on Unsplash

After praying, I sit silently again, just paying attention to my breathing, and continue to acknowledge and let go any confusing thoughts that crop up. I sit in a space of quiet gratitude and light, continuing to breathe. By this point, the confusing thoughts are generally gone, and I have only one or two thoughts happening. If I try to jettison them and they come back solidly, then I know those are the ones I should address.

I don't really know how I arrived at this method. It's just from a variety of things I've tried over the years and it's developed from there. One thing I know for sure is that this doesn't come from me. The letting go of my ego and connecting my awareness outward during the meditation is necessary for me to truly quiet my mind, connect above, and know the right path. That step came during another moment of intuition and message last year, and I took it to heart and started implementing it.

One more thing: I've found that there will be what Kim Chestney calls "Godwinks"—signs from above to do something—that are obvious to me if I bother to pay attention. I know for myself, whenever I ignore them, they will fight to be heard even louder, sometimes to unpleasant consequences. When I look back on my life now, I see them so clearly. I've just had another situation in which it was clear I was not in balance with who I am supposed to be and what I am supposed to do, and I'm listening up. BIG CHANGES coming in my life right now, but they're GOOD ONES. Being in balance with God and the universe has never been more important to me, and makes my decisions even easier when I listen instead of ignoring it.

Comment below or on social media and let me know: have you ever felt something similar? How do you quiet your mind so that your heart can follow? Do you have any favorite tricks for this?

🐝

Want to read Kim's book? You can find it here. And if you are local to the Pittsburgh region and get a chance to do a workshop with Kim, I highly recommend working with her. You can find out more about workshops and events she offers at her website. You may recall I attended an event she helped create back in January, and you can read what that was like here.



 ~~ positively b.e.e. is on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Pinterest. Follow me there!

Fortune Cookie Friday: The Means of Happiness

This post may contain affiliate links, by which I may be financially compensated. See Disclosures & Policies on my About page.

Ok, so, as I mentioned in this post here, Fortune Cookie Friday will be an occasional feature here at positively b.e.e. I get a lot of these every time I order Chinese food or go out, plus I sometimes buy a package of them (you can get a big box here), because I like them a lot.

I find the sayings inside often start a train of thought, for me, so I may as well share those trains here and see what you have to say about it, and I invite you to share your fortune cookie fortunes with me as well!

So without further adieu, the first fortune cookie fortune on this site:

"We cannot be happy unless we think we are the means of good to others."

What do you guys think of that?

My first, knee-jerk reaction to this was: "Nah."

But that was my brain trying to get in the way of my heart. When I tell my brain to pipe down, I get so much more out of this.

Remember when I said in another post that connection may involve letting our guard down so we can heal and heal others?

Maybe this cookie refers to connection, how we cannot remain an island and be happy. By connecting with others on a true soul-level, we can be the means of good to others, thereby elevating our own happiness quotient.

And then there's the fact that for many people, volunteering our time or donating money to a good cause makes us feel good, right? And that is also a form of connection, so that holds true here, as well.

Wow, that cookie was deeper than I expected!

Tune in next time I open a fortune cookie. In the meantime, let me know: does this fortune cookie's message mean anything to you? Comment below!

Oh, and by the way: Happy Lunar New Year!


 ~~ positively b.e.e. is on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Pinterest. Follow me there! ~~

Sandwich Saturdays: How One Man Connects With His Community

This post may contain affiliate links, by which I may be financially compensated. See Disclosures & Policies on my About page.

The word "connection" has been coming up a lot lately, so I think it's worth examining. 

In a prior post, I mentioned how connection is important, and that there would be a follow-up about that. I guess this is that post (though I suspect it will be one of many).

What does connection mean to you?

I looked it up in the dictionary, and there are way too many definitions to count, so I'll just go with some thoughts I have about it. To me, connection is allowing ourselves to be in a relationship with someone, whether it be with people or with God. Additionally, some people connect with nature, feeling at peace when hiking, for instance, or when working with animals.

That sense of connection is part of what makes us human. We have to let down our guard in order to truly connect with someone. In letting down that guard, we give, and we receive. We interact. We listen, and someone listens to us. We heal and we help heal others. We all need that as human beings, even if we don't realize it.

How are you connecting with people?  Take some time today to think about whether you need more connection in your life and how you can go about it.

Today I'll talk about one way: community outreach and volunteering.

During a recent snow day, I had a rare moment of being able to watch daytime TV, and saw a news piece on one of the weekday morning shows. It was about a man who was connecting with his community in a very real way: he is an ex-convict who lives in Syracuse, NY, and is giving back by providing meals to the homeless. Not only is he, personally, giving back, but he is mobilizing members of his local community to help. He is who inspired today's post.

Photo by Fábio Alves on Unsplash

Brief summary: Al-Amin Muhammad was a former gang member and drug dealer who spent some time living on the streets. After serving his prison sentence, he founded  We Rise Above The Streets Recovery Outreach, and as part of that he organizes Sandwich Saturday through his Facebook group.

People volunteer all the time, right? Some do it out of the goodness of their hearts, or it makes them feel good to help others. Some do it because they have to, whether it's community service or through a school/church that organized a volunteer day. But this guy does it because he never wants to go back to where he was. If you watch the video, you can tell: he sees the people he helps as human, he looks them in the eye, he connects with them. Raise your hand if you've ever avoided looking in the eyes of a homeless person on the street. Are you afraid of connecting? Or is it something else? The issue of homelessness is pretty complicated, but people are complicated.

Can you imagine what it's like to be homeless, to potentially have people be afraid of you, to potentially be ostracized, to not have anywhere you belong, but to have someone like Al-Amin Muhammad come round to see you, feed you, look you in the eye, and treat you like you're human? THAT is true connection, to me.

And I see something else happening, here, too: Al-Amin Muhammad is also connecting other people in the community with the homeless. The homeless are no longer faceless. By starting Sandwich Saturdays and calling for volunteers on Facebook, he meets new people, gets the message out even more, and before you know it, it's a ripple effect. It's like tossing a pebble into the middle of a pond and watching concentric rings ripple outwards: it starts with one person, then the next, then the next, until there is a united community of people all working together to help those who are in need.

It starts with ONE person.

I think it's pretty darn spiffy how that works.

Look, don't take my word for it. Check out the press he's getting here and here. I tried to find the TV news clip I saw, but so far, no go. If I do, I'll update.

But more than that, I invite you to connect with others in your community. I don't necessarily mean volunteer your time, though that is a great way to do it. You could join a book club or a knitting group. You could start up a workout group at your gym, or a study group at your school.

Don't isolate; CONNECT.

(Hey, it's worth making a side note here: I always recommend if you want to help a charity to vet them through Charity Watch, Charity Navigator, or some other service that independently grades charities on how well they use their funds.)

Check back again for future posts on connection. This is a topic I could go on about! Comment below and let me know: how we can make sure we connect with others? Do you like to volunteer, and if so, why? I look forward to your thoughts.

 ~~ positively b.e.e. is on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Pinterest. Follow me there! ~~